Bedroom wars
Maybe I’m asking too much? Please tell me if I am and perhaps I’ll chill out a little. At the moment we are battling with the 5 year old’s attitude. I’m guessing, and hoping, that this is normal, right? When she started school last September she was a polite, helpful and thoughtful girl but now we seem to spend our whole time asking her to think about her actions and not to wind her sister up and to TIDY HER BEDROOM!
On the whole, I accept the bulk of tidying duties fall to me. This makes sense as I’m at home during the day so I cook and clean (with a little help from the cleaner!) and do the washing. However, I do appreciate a little help. I also think that asking Grace to do one job for me – keeping her room tidy – will help foster a sense of responsibility and pride in her room. But this is proving to be an uphill struggle a lot of the time. So, am I asking too much? Do you ask your children to do chores around the house? I did try going down the pocket money route but actually, shouldn’t this just be something she does to help me out?
I am also battling with the 2 year old at the moment, but this is just part of everyday life, nothing unusual. She is a spirited and willfull little madam and that, with the move to a new toddler bed and learning to use the toilet has lead to its fair share of challenges!
Both the girls go to bed between 7 and 7:30pm, we read stories and tuck them in. Grace goes to sleep. Faith however, gets up and begins to trash her room. I don’t just mean she gets a few toys out. The other night she unpacked 5 drawers of clothes, a basket of books, all her soft toys, a bag of duplo and all her shoes. I am often faced during the evening with this (yes she is lying in amongst it all):
Often she takes her nappy off too, which is great if you don’t realise until the morning!
By the morning, when she has had a whole evening to unpack, I go in to find this little scene greeting me:
To be honest, this is a good day. Sometimes it can take me 20 minutes in the morning to fold all the clothes and put everything away again.
Sometimes it just makes me smile, sometimes I can’t even get the door open to get into her room, sometimes I want to tear my hair out! There’s no point stressing though – she 2 years old and she’s exploring. After all, it won’t last forever. Right?
Cooking, Cakes & Children 
must be something about 2 year olds! our eldest (nearly 4) never did it, but then maybe we had a more watchful eye then. Our youngest though can be a terror! I wouldn’t change it for the world but i can’t explain how happy it makes me feel when their rooms are tidy in the morning, they are smiling and well behaved and we get out of the door on time. no one explained this part of motherhood (and I was a nanny!) The emotions that go with parenting are truly amazing, a rollercoaster that travels at lightning speed everyday, as they grow and mature, wanting to stamp out themselves and test the boundaries!
Thanks for your lovely comment Abi, it’s reassuring to know it’s not just me! I think it’s definitely something to do with the second child 🙂
Perhaps you could just take all non-vital things out of her bedroom? Store the rest of the clothes somewhere else.
I did tidy all my children’s bedrooms until they were old enough to change their own beds, after that, if they wanted to live in a pig sty, it was up to them! (Only rule was no food in there, and they never had tvs in their rooms either) I just kept the doors to their rooms closed, they couldn’t leave stuff all over the rest of the house, so I thought their bedrooms should be their own space.
This is so similar to us, apart from the fact that Maxi (5) is a neat freak like me, but his attitude leaves so much to be desired at the moment. He is stamping his feet and answering back – not on. Mini refuses to tidy up, even if I black bag the toys and remove them, he is stubborn and doesnt care. Hohum. We have a conservatory that they use as a play room, so at least the bedrooms dont get too messy.
Oh and I still dont have any sugar yet!!
Piglet is only 6 months old so I’ve all of this to come! I saw the same thing happen with my niece, she started school a very sweet polite little girl and then a few months down the line things changed. She settled down again quickly enough and has been back to her normal self for a while now 🙂
LOL, this is why mine is still in a sleeping bag and behind bars. His grobag has a sedative effect, the second it comes off he’s cocking his leg over the bars trying to climb out. I’ve been putting off taking the sides of the cotbed until I stopped him having his afternoon nap (which happened a month ago) because I want him to be so knackered he falls straight to sleep in the evening. Now I need an opportunity where husband is in the house but child isn’t so he can get the screwdriver out. Chances like this don’t come along very often…
Not sure I have any advice about your little madam though. Nothing more radical than sticker charts and bribery anyway.
@Sharon I was thinking about moving some stuff out but don’t really have anywhere to put it 😦
@TheMadHouse We have a lot of foot stamping too. And a lot of ‘it’s not fair’ and ‘I didn’t make that mess so I shouldn’t tidy it’!
@Pumpkin and Piglet Good luck! I’m sure Grace will settle again soon – she’d better!
@Sarah I tried to keep Faith in her sleeping bag too but she takes it off. She has an obsession with stripping! That’s why she takes off her nappy, so she can put her knickers on now we’re toilet learning!
Now that would drive me nuts, it’s bad enough putting things away once let alone doing it repeatadly! Can you tie the drawers shut somehow?
I have been very luck with my DS (7) who is quite tidy but I am now trying to enforce some tidying in his room as the pile of books by his bed seems to be ever growing and I can’t count the number of times I have trodden on Lego!
I think chores are really important from a young age – DS empties the dishwasher and puts away the groceries or else he doesn’t get his pocket money. Mean Mummy! LOL
I was wondering if I could get something to keep the drawers shut. I think it’s important that they learn to do chores at a young age too – there are a few things they can do quite easily that only take a few minutes. We try to get Grace to tidy her room every night before bed so that a big mess can’t build up!
My two share a room, my youngest did the taking nappy off and empting her clothes, books etc, DS never has. Although he is far from perfect and even though he tells me he likes a tidy bedroom, he doesn’t like tidying!
I don’t think you are asking too much for her to tidy her room. To start with I go in, tell them I would like them to tidy up, 5mins later will go in, hopefully something will be put away so I will say well done, now lets tidy something else up then 10mins later I will go in and help them finish off. Seems to work. DH shouts at them, sits in the middle of the room, doesn’t lift a finger, keeps shouting, takes about an hour and its still never done ;l
Funny how they are so different. My OH is quite good at pitching in to help but I think he may do most of the tidying while they watch. Think I need to follow your approach and pop in more often to keep them on track. Thank you 🙂
Oh my goodness… what a pain in the rear children can be… lol
My eldest is 12 and her bedroom is a pit…. she has no inclination or desire to tidy it and thinks its funny when I walk in and say “oh Jamie!”… Daniel (bless him) is 4 (five in January) and he puts his toys back in the drawers and keeps his room fairly tidy, he even goes into Jamies room and tells her to tidy it up…lol
Daniel has had a couple of screaming tantrams but I think it was possibly frustration and I dealt with it quite swiftly…. I was not ammused! : x
To be honest the rest of the house is a bit of a bombsite at the moment as we re-fit the kitchen and I currently have a couple of kitchen cabinets in the lounge along with a stack of skirting board… so I cannot get to strung up on mess and it isn’t the type of thing to play on my mind as there are far too many nice things to be doing… do you think perhaps she’s doing it because she knows it will wind you up? children are a very clever inciteful bunch… more so than they are give credit for…. or perhaps with the 2 year old you could make it a game to pack it all away… and perhaps child locks on the clothes drawers… I am sure she’ll grow out of it… fingers crossed! ;D
big hugs Alex
Don’t fret too much, she’ll grow out of it! 😀 And i think your kids are pretty disciplined to sleep at 7-730pm!
Jamie went through a phase of trashing his room (when we trialed the two of them sharing a bedroom). Same as you, all drawers emptied with clothes everywhere, all books out of the bookcase, etc. It was terrible and so soul-destroying to see that every morning. In the end I removed everything from his room (including his sister!) so that it was only his bed and I swung around the dressers so the drawers couldn’t be opened during the night. Eventually we reintroduced his stuff back into his room, on the understanding that if he trashed it, we’d take it all back out again. Much sympathy for you xx
@Alex – I probably shouldn’t get to worried about as the rest of my house is like a bombsite too! Not because of major renovation – I just don’t like housework! 🙂
@Faithy – we get them to bed between 7 and 7:30. Grace goes to sleep but Faith doesn’t! At least they are in their rooms I guess! Lol
@Kitschy Coo Thank you, it is somewhat comforting to know that it’s not just Faith who has this habit. At the moment I have just left it all out for 3 days and shut the door so I can’t see it! Not a good long term solution but I’m too busy to deal with it right now!! 🙂 x